The Legal News

It is unlawful to give beer to hospital patients.

Candy must not contain more than 1% of alcohol.

Shooting ranges may not set up targets that look like people.

At a wake, mourners may not eat  more than three sandwiches.

Snoring is against the law unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

You must pay a special licensing fee to wear a goatee in public.

Taxi drivers are not allowed to have sex in the front seat of their cab during their shifts.

All men must carry a firearm to church on Sunday.

Hunting on Sundays is illegal.

It is unlawful to go to sleep without first having a full bath.

It is illegal for a woman to have sex on top.

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Tattooing and body piercing is unlawful.

Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.

Quakers and witches are banned.

Bullets may not be used as form of money.

Alcoholic drink specials are prohibited.

Public boxing matches are illegal.